Gratitude and Joy: Family and Friends and Christmas

Gratitude and Joy: Day 25

I am grateful for:

Friends and Family
I'm certainly not unique in having moved far away from my family or in finding it harder to make friends in my thirties than it was at any other time of my life. I've always been blessed with great friends and wonderful family, but being away from so many of the people I care for the most puts that in sharp relief. I'm grateful for every one of my friends, my family, and the husbeast. The older I get the more I think that making connections with other humans is the point of life. 


I feel joyful in the presence of:

Christmas
While I don't necessarily feel the religious joy of Christmas that devout Christians do, there is something about this time that does touch me, that does fill me with joy. Maybe it's a learned response, maybe it's some kind of collective memory of light festivals around the winter solstice, maybe it really is the good news. Whatever the reason, of Christmas "I believe that it has done me good, and will do me good; and I say, God bless it!"*


*A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens, Stave I

Gratitude and Joy: Our Weather Guy and Giddy Scrooge

Gratitude and Joy: Day 24

I am grateful for:

Our Local Weather Guy
The gentleman who does weather commentary in our local paper is amazing. He knows his stuff and he explains it well, always making clear what's actually happening all up in the atmospheres and explaining what might develop and what's likely to develop. Our weather is pretty much 90% run of the mill, but the other 10% might kill you. I find his level-headed, intelligent commentary indispensable and frankly, instrumental in helping me keep perspective in a world where alarmist weather sells. 

I feel joy watching:

Scrooge Finding Joy in His Redemption
My favorite adaptation of A Christmas Carol is the 1951 version staring Alastair Sim (which is called Scrooge). Sim's portrayal of Scrooge is stunningly perfect, and part of what makes it so good is his performance of the reformed Scrooge. The last seven or eight minutes of the movie is made up of one brilliant joyful scene after another. Here's one of my favorite sequences. This one is a close, close second. (The background music here is perfect.*) Neither of these is the famous Boxing Day morning scene, which you should watch too. It'll have popped up to the side if you clicked either of those links. Oh, just go watch the whole movie.

*"Barbara Allen," what is about how regret over being hardhearted toward your fellow humans can kill you. Scrooge takes a different path by choosing to fix it/himself before it's too late.

Gratitude and Joy: Choir and Es Ist ein Ros Entsprungen

Gratitude and Joy: Day 23

I am grateful for:

My Experiences in Choir
Those of you who have been following along with me here have probably gathered that I deeply cherish the time I spent in choirs when I was in school. In addition to simply loving that time and relishing the memories of that time, I will always be grateful for the way being a part of those choirs taught me that discipline and enjoyment can go hand in hand and the greater appreciation for music it gave me as well.


I feel joy listening to:

"Es Ist ein Ros Entsprungen"
"Es Ist ein Ros Entsprungen" ("Lo, How a Rose e'er Blooming") is another one of those Christmas songs that just stops me dead in my tracks. I feel connected to something greater and timeless when I hear it.

Gratitude and Joy: Recycling Services and Once in Royal David's City

Gratitude and Joy: Day 22

I am grateful for:

Recycling Services
When we first moved here, our apartment didn't have recycling service. None. And as we had no good way to store recyclables until we could make a run to the municipal recycling center, we just didn't recycle at home. This drove me nuts. We have recycling pick-up just like trash pick-up now, and it gives me a little ping of satisfaction every time I drop a milk jug or a newspaper (or cardboard box!) in the bin. And I'm grateful I get to participate in our city's recycling efforts without having to haul stuff out to the center. It's nice that it's easy.


I feel joy listening to:

"Once in Royal David's City"
We sang "Once in Royal David's City" as our processional for our holiday concert every year when I was in chorus in high school. It's been one of my favorites ever since.

Gratitude and Joy: Amazon Prime and Giving Gifts

Gratitude and Joy: Day 21

I am grateful for:

Amazon Prime
If I have a little complicated feeling about Barnes and Noble, I have a big complicated feeling about Amazon. But let me tell ya, Prime is a godsend. We originally signed up for it when we were using a special cat litter that was supposed to be helping one of our elderly cats with box issues. That litter was not reliably available in town and was way cheaper online. We're no longer doing that, but we've kept the Prime after realizing just how many times we've trekked out to the strip mall wasteland for some non-food domestic item, come away frazzled and empty-handed, then found the thing in seconds on Amazon and had it two days later. So I continue to feel some kind of a complicated way about Amazon (the effect on local economies! the environmental impact of all that shipping! the cardboard boxes that end up in my garage!), but for the moment I'm grateful to live in a world where quick shipping of stuff is an option.


I feel joy:

Giving Gifts
I love giving gifts. I love making note of what folks seem to be into and then hunting down the right related gift. I love wrapping presents and picking out just the right tag and ribbon to put on the package. I love thinking about the joy I hope that package and its contents are going to bring the recipient. I love hearing that the gift did indeed bring that joy. Love it, love it, love it. I know lots of people get frustrated with the commercialism and the gimmes that can come with the Christmas season, but I am a happy little nurturer with so many opportunities to try to bring a little happiness to loved ones.

Gratitude and Joy: Our Post Office and A Christmas Carol

Gratitude and Joy: Day 20

I am grateful for:

Our Post Office
My gratitude is not for the post office, itself, as a thing that exists (although if you think about it, it's pretty cool, actually) but rather for the local branch of the post office where I go if I need to mail a package. It is laid out well and the staff is generally efficient and friendly. Especially at this time of year, when going to the post office can be a nightmare that seems like it will never end, I am especially grateful that ours seems to be so well run.

I feel joy reading:

A Christmas Carol
I've been rereading Dickens's A Christmas Carol every year for about twenty years. I love the redemption story, but just as much as that I get lost in Dickens's language and his brilliant descriptions. Reading this novella is the thing that most makes it feel like Christmas to me and it is the last tradition surrounding the holiday I would give up if time or other constraints forced me to lessen my holiday activities in any year. My annual reread starts tonight!

Gratitude and Joy: A Friend Teaching Me Crochet and the End of It's a Wonderful Life

Gratitude and Joy: Day 19

I am grateful that:

One of my friends taught me to crochet in middle school
A good friend of mine taught me a basic crochet stitch in middle school. I think someone had just taught her and she was just showing me because kids show each other things they've learned. I don't know how interested I was in it then, but I must have fooled around with some yarn after that because that stitch stuck with me. Years later when I did want to do some actual crocheting, I still remembered how to do that simple stitch, and having that knowledge made it so much easier to learn how to do other things and put together whole projects. Crocheting is one of my favorite hobbies now, one of my go-to things to do when I need some down time or feel the urge to do something with my hands, and I often think of her when I sit down to work on something.  

I feel joy watching:

The End of It's a Wonderful Life
I mean, Jimmy Stewart and all his friends singing together around the Christmas tree? How can you not smile? 

Gratitude and Joy: Barnes and Noble and My Grandmother's Clock

Gratitude and Joy: Day 18

I am grateful for:

Barnes and Noble
Ah, Barnes and Noble. I have a little bit of a complicated feeling about B&N. I would rather shop in a lovely independent book store, both because I usually enjoy the atmosphere in independents more and because I like the idea of supporting small businesses, especially small bookish businesses. But we don't have an independent book store. We have a lovely used book store, which I do support, but our independent closed several years ago. Given my brick and mortar options for new books are B&N or nothing, I do chose B&N. And the thing is, I like our B&N. It's familiar and decently cozy and a fair number of the staff recognize me when I come in. I am the sort of person who prefers to browse in person for books, and I like to do it fairly regularly. And I'm pretty keenly aware of what it would be like to have no chain bookstore either. I lived through that for a while right after Borders closed down all its stores. (Ironically at that time I lived in a town that did have an independent bookstore, but a less inviting shop with more cranky, snobby staff you'd be hard pressed to find, so I mostly avoided going there.) I've never experienced a real book desert (I always could go into the Snarky Store), but I had just a sharp enough glimpse of the possibility of one to be grateful that our Barnes and Noble, chain that it is, impersonal as it can sometimes feel, continues to chug along.

I feel joy around:

Grandma's Clock
When my grandparents moved into a smaller house, they gave some of their things to various members of the family. I got a lovely wall clock with spiffy pendulum action. It's gotten pride of place in the living room anywhere I've lived since, and it feels like home to see it, ticking away. 

Gratitude and Joy: Online Acquaintances and Green Ink

Gratitude and Joy: Day 17

I am grateful for:

Online Acquaintances Who Have Their Shit Together
Like so many of us, I have far more online "friends" than I do friends I ever actually see face to face. Most of the people I know only online (or now only know online) are just sort of there. But a handful of them are literally giving me life right now. These are regular women (they're all women), not celebrities or people otherwise in the public eye, who seem to be living their best lives--not just presenting the best versions of their lives to the world of social media, but actually living their best lives. The love these women have for their children and for their spouses, their dedication to helping make the world a better place through raising their kids right and putting their bodies where their values are for volunteer work, and their honesty and vulnerability in sharing when things go wrong as well as when they go right shine through each and every day. These are women I only "know"--we don't get together for lunch, we can't help each other out by running errands for one another when the going gets tough, we don't do any of the things "traditional" friends or even acquaintances do by dint of being in physical proximity to one another, but these women enrich my life immeasurably just by being their kind, awesome selves, and I'm so grateful that I get to glimpse them through my computer screen.  


I feel joy using:

Green Ink
I don't remember now when I first started using green ink for everything I thought I could get away with not using blue or black for. (I still sign checks in blue. *sigh*) But I love my green ink. It's just such a happy and somehow still sort of dignified ink color. I still write a lot by hand (lists!), and it brings me joy to do that in a color I like. 

Gratitude and Joy: Dog Helpers and Really Good Television

Gratitude and Joy: Day 16

I am grateful for:

Excellent Dog Services
We've had our golden retriever for just shy of a year and a half. It's been an adventure, trying to get her  trained to be a well-mannered dog and to help her be the healthiest she can be physically and emotionally. Along the way we've encountered truly excellent vets, dog trainers, and day care facilities. I think we are truly blessed to live somewhere with so many choices for dog things and to have access to such good ones. The day care facility we take Thursday to is especially wonderful. She loves playing with other dogs, and we are not in a position to get her a friend right now, so it is fabulous that we have a place we can take her near home where they love her like we do and where she can play most of the day. She's a happier dog because she gets to go there (and I'm a more productive human, because I can actually get stuff done at home while she's away), and our cat is a happier cat (she has *not* warmed to the dog) with a few hours of dog-free house in her day. As Thursday grows up, I imagine we'll scale back how often she goes to "school" (it's expensive, and it's nice to have the dog around during the day, of course), but for now, I'm so grateful that I found such a great place for her to socialize, exercise, and get tired.

I feel joy watching:

Good Television
I love watching really excellent television, especially on demand. Growing up I had my weekly TV shows I Did Not Miss, but once the shows I was watching at the end of high school finished up, I pretty much stopped watching regular TV. Sports, sure. The news sometimes. But as an adult I haven't been much of a regular TV watcher. Even the stuff I DVR often sits there for year before I get around to it. What I do do, is watch a lot of TV shows on streaming services. I like to get really wrapped up in a show and watch multiple seasons over the course of a couple of months rather than several years. And it seems like there is so much good TV out there these days, both from the cable networks and from the streaming services. I love a good story told through TV or film almost as much as I love a good book, and it seems like what's on offer just gets better and better. The shows making me happy most recently are The Crown, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, and Father Brown. 

Gratitude and Joy: Christmastime Birthdays and "Ar Hyd Y Nos"

Gratitude and Joy: Day 15

I am grateful for:

Celebrations of Christmastime Birthdays
Between the start of Advent and the Epiphany, we have five birthdays in my immediate family, including my own. When I was growing up, it was only four (one of those winter babies turns three this year!), but that's still a lot of birthdays to squeeze into an already busy time around Christmas. Mine is the latest of them, so by the time we got to me, there had already been three birthdays, Christmas, and New Year's. Many people over the years have asked me if my birthday always got lost in the shuffle because it was so close to Christmas or if I didn't get birthday presents because my Christmas presents "counted" for the birthday too. This question used to surprise me, because no one in my family ever suggested any such thing. My parents always made time to make my birthday special despite what I'm sure was sometimes some fairly intense "festive fatigue." So, with gratitude to my parents for that and with a hearty "Happy Birthday!" to my mom, who kicks off our familial Christmastime birthdays today.


I feel joy when I hear:

"Ar Hyd Y Nos"
I first heard this Welsh folksong at the end of the TV adaptation of "A Child's Christmas in Wales." It's been forever associated with Christmas for me, though really it's a lullaby that's not really specifically Christmasy. 

Gratitude and Joy: Growing Up with Grandparents and Christmas Colors

Gratitude and Joy: Day 14

I am grateful for:

A Childhood with All Four Grandparents Living
We lost both of my grandfathers when I was in my early twenties, and now, well over ten years later, I sometimes still get sucker punched, seemingly out of the blue, by how much I miss them. These little grief whammies are usually short lived and followed quickly by wonderful memories of both of them. My grandmothers are still with us, and I count myself lucky beyond measure to still have them in my life. When I'm hit with those moments of grief and happy memories about my grandfathers, I'm often struck with how grateful I am that I got to grow up with all four of my grandparents living, that I got to know them all; that I got to see them interact with each other and their children and their other grandchildren; that I got to have the benefit of their kindness, love, and knowledge; and that I did not experience losing any of them as a child. I think this is somewhat rare, and it is absolutely one of the greatest blessings of my childhood.

I feel joy seeing:

Christmas Red and Green
This might just be conditioning--I mean you see enough red and green on presents for you and in moments of happiness and you're bound to associate those colors with good feelings--but I really do just love Christmasy red and green. On wrapping paper, on decorations, and most especially in nature, such as on a holly bush or mistletoe. That color combo often makes me stop short and say, "Well now, isn't that lovely."

Confessions of a Mood Reader

I have always been a mood reader, picking up my next read based on what I feel like or on what has recently piqued my interest. Feel like hibernating on the couch for days? Time for a fluffy romance novel! Just binge-watched a detective show? Read a murder mystery! In general, I'd say this is no bad thing. Reading is one of my chief comforts, so why shouldn't it reflect the mood I'm in or the most recent rabbit hole I've fallen down? 

But in the last few months, reading according to my mood hasn't been working so well for me. Possibly because the world and my feelings about it are so unsettled these days or maybe just because I've been letting mood entirely govern my reading choices for too long, lately I end up flitting from book to book, often finishing none of them. This leaves me pretty unsatisfied, as you might imagine, but I've noticed that being a mood reader has also led to other aspects of my reading life that don't always please me.

Neglecting the Library

The nature of checking books out of the library is that you have a specific book during a specific span of time. There's always the option to renew, of course, and you can take the same book out as many times as you like, but the general gist of the thing is that you read this book now. Add in library holds that might come available at any time, and the issue is compounded. None of this is terribly in line with mood reading. Nothing makes me want to read a book less than knowing I have to finish it by a certain date. (I blame grad school.) As a result, I tend to buy books rather than check them out of the library (because they will always be within reach of my hot little hands).

Buying Too Many Books

No such thing, right? Weeell. I'm blessed with a nice-sized house, but the space for books still isn't infinite. (Alas.) My recent book-buying M.O. of picking up two or three paperbacks that suit a current mood has our bookshelves sagging. And because my moods usually change faster than I can get through three books, I end up with unread books lying around. Which is great! Until I get  paralyzed by too much choice. I want to read everything, but I can't, so I read nothing. *sad trombone* 

Reading Less Diversely Than I Would Like

I am mentally committed to reading diversely in as many ways as I can squeeze into my reading time. I want to seriously up the number of authors of color I read, and the number of lesbian and trans* authors, and the amount of poetry, and and and. But, see, none of those things is a mood. So even though I have piles of books by diverse writers that I really want to read, unless one of them fits whatever particular mood I'm in, I just don't get around to them. While the other consequences of letting my reading choices be dictated entirely by mood have been making me less than fully satisfied with my reading life, this one makes me downright cross with myself. Reading diversely is something I value, and I'm letting it fall by the wayside. Get it together, girl!

In the years immediately after grad school, when my reading time was completely unfettered for the first time since... ever, I set out little reading challenges for myself. Sometimes they involved reading a themed book for each month (something about love in February, something about school in September), sometimes I simply picked a topic I was interested in and found a couple of books about it (maybe a novel and a piece of nonfic, or a memoir and a more scholarly work) and read them back to back. While I did complete most of those challenges, I found them constraining. They made reading too much like work. Now I think I've swung too far back the other way, letting my reading be completely freeform and thus ending up with a reading life that is largely directionless.  

So for 2018, I have a plan. I'm picking three or four categories of books that I'd like to see myself read more of (I haven't decided exactly what they'll be yet, but you can bet that at least one of them will be to do with reading diversely), and I'm going to challenge myself to read ten books in each of those categories at any point throughout the year. Since I typically read 75-100 books in a year, this will mean forty to fifty percent of my reading should be directed reading in 2018. Combined with a modified book buying ban (stop. buying. three. of. the. same. kind. of. book. at. once.), it should still leave room for mood reading while giving my reading life more focus.

Are you a mood reader? How do you choose your reads/make room for directed reading? 

Gratitude and Joy: Bluetooth and Unlit Rats

Gratitude and Joy: Day 13

I am grateful for:

Bluetooth

How did I live before I could connect my phone to things like my car? (I mean, the simple answer is that my phone did nothing but call people before Bluetooth and thus there was no need to connect it to things like my car, but.) Bluetooth lets me talk to far-away loved ones while also doing other things, like crochet or clean up the kitchen or stop the dog from chasing the cat around the entire interior perimeter of the house again. It lets me listen to my podcasts while I'm driving on my many errands. (How are there so many errands? I think they get together in small groups and multiply in the night.) This is one of those things I could live without, but that I marvel about on something like a weekly basis. How cool is it that I don't have to? In any case, I'm grateful that I don't.

I feel joy watching:

This scene from The Muppet's Christmas Carol

This is basically my sense of humor in one tidy twenty-five second filmic nutshell. 

Gratitude and Joy: Reliable Heat and A Child's Christmas in Wales

Gratitude and Joy: Day 12

I am grateful for:

Reliable Heat

It doesn't hang out below freezing too much where I live now, but we usually get a snap or two of below-freezing daytime highs each winter, and it is certainly cold enough from November through March that you'd know it if you didn't have a reliable source of heat. Like hot running water, this is something I don't think about much on any given day--it's cold in the house, turn the heat up a little. But in this moment, when I did just that, I'm reminded that not everyone has this luxury, and that it is a luxury indeed, just to push a button a couple of times and get warm air. I'm grateful that our circumstances allow us to keep warm and to not have to worry about how we're going to do so. 

I feel joy watching: 

A Child's Christmas in Wales

This 1987 TV movie adaptation of Dylan Thomas's short story about Christmas in early twentieth-century Wales has been a favorite of mine since childhood. Many of my family's in-jokes come from this film ("You're sure it isn't socks?"), and it's one of the handful of movies I watch every year instead of giving a skip every once in a while. Every moment of it is a delight and a joy.

Gratitude and Joy: Luthien and a Friendly Stranger

Gratitude and Joy: Day 11

I am grateful for:

Luthien
Luthien is the cat I adopted within weeks of moving into the first apartment I would live in alone. This was twelve years ago now. She was an adult cat then (though young), so now she's a cranky old bat. She's honestly harder to love than she used to be, what with all the medication she needs and the constant vocalizing, but love her I still do. I'm going to be crushed when she goes, so I try to remind myself as often as I can, while she's still with us, how much joy she has brought into my life (and still does, along with the frustrations) and how instrumental she was in my getting through grad school sane (ish).

I felt joy when:

A Stranger Was Friendly
Our neighborhood sees a fair amount of people going for family walks or walking their dogs. One lady comes here specially to walk because it is a quiet area and very pretty. I've seen her walking of an afternoon, usually on Sunday. We've exchanged greetings a few times, and one day--four or more months ago now--I was out with the dog and we stopped and chatted. She loved on the dog, and we spend a few nice minutes together. I hadn't seen her since, until yesterday. We didn't stop to chat this time, but we enthusiastically said hello to each other and she greeted my dog (who she's met once, remember) by name. How nice that was.

Gratitude and Joy: Kind Cashiers and The Hallelujah Chorus

Gratitude and Joy: Day 10

I am grateful for:

Kind Cashiers
The other day I picked up a few gift cards at the grocery store when I did my week's shopping. For whatever reason--maybe the cashier passed them to the bagger and he missed them or maybe she set them aside thinking I would put them in my purse and *I* missed them--I walked away without them. And then she noticed I didn't have them and chased me down to make sure I didn't walk way without the single most expensive thing I bought that day. Sometimes the little things are actually the big things, and I'm so grateful this woman saved me the inconvenience and expense of losing those gift cards.


I feel joy listening to:

"The Hallelujah Chorus"
They performed "The Hallelujah Chorus" as the encore at the Holiday Pops concert Friday night. Dang but I love "The Hallelujah Chorus." It is so majestic, so joyful, so so. It's one of those pieces that gives me that swelling emotion feeling that gets stuck in your throat. Also, when people actually know to stand up? Because tradition? It makes me feel connected to something bigger, just like the music does. If I had to describe joy, I don't think I could do better than to point to the feeling I get during those high, high notes in "The Hallelujah Chorus."

Gratitude and Joy: Podcasts and the RSO Holiday Pops Concert

Gratitude and Joy: Day 9

I am grateful for:

Podcasts
I debated with myself about whether this was a cheat since so many of the podcasts I listen to are part of the bookternet, and well, I already talked about that. But not all of the podcasts I listen to are about books, and what I get out of podcasts specifically isn't the same as what I get out of the bookternet generally, so here we are. Four years ago I had never listened to a podcast. Now I subscribe to a bunch, and I anticipate the days of the week based on which podcast drops on that day. My favorites are little daily treats, little highlights to my day, and they often help me get through my morning routine (and driving time) and prepare for the rest of the day. Like a favorite TV program or book, they become like friends I look forward to hanging out with once a week. In addition to entertaining me, they've also allowed me to easily expand my horizons in ways I might never have done without this format. I'm better informed about politics, science, and (definitely) the book world than I was before I started listening to them, and that's always a thing to be grateful for. 

I feel joyful at:

The Roanoke Symphony Orchestra Holiday Pops Concert
Like many local symphonies, ours has an annual pops concert in December devoted to Christmas music. We almost always go, and I can't express how much I love it. In addition to the orchestra, it always features several area choirs, and that may be part of why I love it so much. I was in choir from seventh grade through the end of college, and it was one of the single best things I ever did. I have great memories from those years, and I am always thrilled to see any choir perform. But the whole evening is always a delight: the symphony is excellent, the conductor is a hoot, and there's a bit at the end where the audience sings along through a medley of well-known carols and songs. This is the official start to the season for me, and it never fails to get me in the right spirit for Christmas.

Gratitude and Joy: My Physical Therapist and Snow

Gratitude and Joy: Day 8

I am grateful for:

My Physical Therapist
I've suffered headaches all my life. I have migraines, and I also get tension headaches. Six months ago or so my doctor suggested seeing a physical therapist to sort out the neck muscles that get cranky and give me those tension headaches (which, not a word of lie, you guys, are often worse than my migraines). And my physical therapist is amazing. The headaches have improved and my shoulders mostly hang out where they are supposed to now, rather than up around my ears. This was like a revelation. The first time I got in the pool to do some laps after I'd been working with her for a bit, I was like, "Oh. Oh! This is how shoulders are supposed to move." I'm so grateful that she is so good at what she does and that I have been able to see her. And, I'll just say, if you hang out at a desk for 10+ hours a day 5+ days a week, make sure you're taking care of your supporting muscles. Because if you don't, they'll eat you, you know.

I feel joyful around:

Snow
So, I don't like having to drive in it or shift it about so that I can drive in it, but beyond that, I love the stuff. Nothing is quite as magical as snow softly falling from the sky and turning everything crisp and white and sparkly. Seriously, it me.

Gratitude and Joy: History and Scottish Christmas Album

Gratitude and Joy: Day 7

I am grateful for:

History
I personally find history fascinating and entertaining, but what I'm grateful for is our access to it. I've been thinking about two different quotations lately: "Those that fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it" (Winston Churchill, and literally every other person interested in history ever, probably) and "May you live in an interesting age" (probably not an ancient Chinese curse). We certainly seem to be living in an interesting age, and one that is marking the rapid and increasing loss of our remaining elders who have meaningful memories of the greatest upheaval in the western world in the 20th century. A human being in their late teens at the end of World War II is, if still living, near ninety now. Our access to the terror, the horror, and the lessons of WWII, the Holocaust, and their fallout is increasingly becoming limited to what history has left for us. Our ability to generate and record new primary materials about the events that still ripple through our world in the form of ideologies, borders, and still simmering disputes is passing away. In another decade, it will be fully gone. This is the nature of life, of time. Those who remember will always pass away. Thus it is forever incumbent upon us to value our access to the truth and to support continuing efforts to record history as truthfully as we can. Of course historical accounts are always biased, but I am grateful to live in a time and a place where it is usually easy enough to identify those biases and avoid material that contains outright lies. May we remember that this is by no means guaranteed and fight for this kind of freedom to continue to be the case. 


I feel joyful listening to:

A Scottish Christmas
My grandparents gave me this Christmas album some twenty years ago, and it has remained one of my absolute favorites since then. I have always felt a strong affinity for my Scottish ancestry, and I'm one of those people who feels that sharp combination of joy and pride that almost turns into weeping at the sound of the bagpipes. If you are one of those folks who finds them screechy, I don't want to hear about it, but I will warn you that you aren't going to like this, one of my favorite pieces on the album. 

Gratitude and Joy: Hot Running Water and O Come O Come Emmanuel

Gratitude and Joy, Day 6

I am grateful for: 

Hot, Running Water
Yesterday, having no where to be and being somewhat behind my time in the a.m., through one thing and another, I didn't shower until late in the afternoon. So by the time I got around to it, it felt like a real blessing to be able to wash away two days' worth of grime under a steady stream of hot water. Hot running water is one of those things I mostly take for granted--it's always there, and if it's not, it's because something is *wrong*--and it's easy to forget how lucky we are--within the world and within history--to have access to it with the twist of a knob. As someone with cranky sinuses and perpetually tight shoulder and neck muscles, I'm particularly grateful to be able to apply hot and steam to myself every morning, and not just because it helps me get clean. 

I feel joyful when I listen to:

"O Come O Come Emmanuel"
This plaintive Christmas hymns is one of my favorites. It never fails to give me the shivers. There's something elemental about these harmonies. This is a nice version. Close your eyes. Yes? Shivers. 

Gratitude and Joy: Reading and Advent Calendars

Gratitude and Joy: Day 5

I am grateful for:

Reading

I am happiest when I can read for at least one uninterrupted hour every day. Some days I get a lot more than that, and most weeks there's a day or two (or three) where I'm lucky to manage ten minutes. Reading is one of my chief joys, and I've realized (not really for the first time) lately that it's also one of the most important ways that I take care of myself. Reading allows me to pause, to rest, to reset, while it also exercises my mind and entertains me. Long stretches without sustained reading time (even when those stretches are otherwise happy or fulfilling times) are invariably times when I feel out of sorts, not quite right with the world or myself. 

In the last nine days, I have only managed a proper sustained read once. I'm right in the middle of the harried part of the preparation for Christmas, the two weeks or so when all the decorating, buying, wrapping, card writing, post office going and last-minute yarn-craft-gift finishing happens, and I simply haven't had the time (or sometimes the energy, when the end of the day comes and I only have enough brain cells left for television). The absence of sustained reading makes me realize how much a I love it, how much it does for me, and how grateful I am that I have the ability--through literacy and leisure--to engage in such a sustaining hobby. 

I am made joyful by:

Advent Calendars 

We always had an advent calendar when I was growing up. The one I remember best was a 3-D jobber of a cathedral. You had to walk around the whole thing to find the right door for the day. I delighted in it every morning. That particular calendar kind of died at some point and we had others in my teenaged years. My high school German teacher always incorporated a German advent calendar into lessons in December. (Those had chocoloate behind the doors, a thing which until that time was unheard of in my world, though it seems to be very common here now.) I've had one every year of my adult life too, supplemented in the last few seasons by a nifty animated one on the computer that involves music and activities. They are a simple treat, a small thing to look forward to , and the prospect of opening the door each day still sparks that little joy in me that it did as a kid. Now, too, it helps me slow down and notice the passing of each day rather than letting them all congeal into one great seasonal clump.

Gratitude and Joy: Thursday and Ceehke

Gratitude and Joy: Day 4

I am grateful for:

Thursday:
Thursday is my golden retriever. She is a year and a half old, and she is made of equal parts adorable, twirl, and buttface miscreant. I can just about remember not having a dog as a kid, but only just. I was six when we got our first one. But when I moved out, I wasn't in a position to have a dog--apartment living and long, looong hours away from home in graduate school. I got a cat as soon as I thought I could manage one financially, and I adore her. But I missed having a dog. So once we got a house and got settled into it and got a proper fence in the back yard, the search for a doggo began. Thursday is work, I'll tell ya. She has all the energy. Have you been feeling run down lately? Mmmhmm, it's because my dog took all the energy for herself. And she wants all the attention, always. And, oh hey, did you know that a dog has to be taken outside to do its business where a cat just saunters off to its box and leaves you alone? But I wouldn't trade her for the world. My mom calls pets our "furry blessings." That couldn't be more true, and every evening when I get the dog settled for bed, I try to remind myself how grateful I am to have the Blonde Wonder in my life. 

I feel joyful watching:

This scene from episode fourteen of season two of All Creatures Great and Small
The set up! The unhurriedness of it all! The constant mooing and birdsong in the background! How serious they all are!

Gratitude and Joy: My Neighborhood Church and Trees

Gratitude and Joy: Day 3

I am grateful for:

My Neighborhood Church:
We didn't go to church growing up. My parents grew up Methodist and were not "lapsed" so much as intentionally "nah" by the time I came around. Both sets of grandparents went to church and nearly all of my childhood friends did, so I went sometimes if I was staying over the weekend with someone who did. Recently I've become interested in exploring my spirituality and religion, less because of any kind of newfound belief and more out of a desire to see what's what and find out what I believe and what a spiritual community and ritual might have to offer me. I'll go from there. 

I did some research before picking a church to attend, and boy, did I luck out. The Presbyterian church I've been going to--still very sporadically--is literally in my neighborhood (which feels important somehow, and beyond the pleasantness for a newbie to a Sunday morning get-up routine of a less than ten minute round-trip), the service is traditional without feeling out of touch, the sermons are excellent and on point, the music (my single favorite part) is lovely, and--most important--everyone is genuine, friendly, welcoming, and *not pushy.* I don't know yet whether I will become a regular attendee of this (or any) church or if my attendance will change anything about what I believe or my relationship with faith, but I'm so grateful to have found a place to explore it that I enjoy going to and where I feel welcome.

I feel joyful around:

Trees:
You've probably seen one of those articles of foreign words for things we can't say in English and come across the Japanese word shinrin-yoku, which means "forest bath," and refers to a contemplative walk through nature. They're always accompanied by pictures of beautiful trees, these articles, and every time I come across one of them, something inside me goes "Yep." I've always been a lover of trees, and lately I've been trying to go for a short walk through our neighborhood as near to every morning as I can manage. We're right on the edge between the end of the city and the beginning of the country here, and we have a lot of trees and almost, almost, a forest just up the road. For a joyful start to the day, nothing beats a quiet walk under sunlight dappling through the trees.

Gratitude and Joy: Extras and Pentatonix's Hark the Harald Angels Sing

Gratitude and Joy: Day 2

I am grateful for: 

Extras:

Today was tree day in our house. We drove our SUV ten miles to the edge of town and bought a freshly cut Christmas tree and brought it back to our spacious house and decorated it with lights and ornaments while we listened to music on our fancy entertainment system. Yesterday I went to Target and bought a fair amount of nice things that are pretty and pleasant to have that we do not need, like a new pillow that says "Merry Christmas" on it and some new tree ornaments and a spiffy plastic box designed to keep your light strings from getting tangled up in storage. I derive a lot of emotional security and real, but surface-level, happiness from having pleasant things, but in the end, they are extras. Because they do make me feel genuinely good, I am grateful that we are in a position to provide them for ourselves. But today I'm using my gratitude to challenge myself to remember more often those who live without the extras and those who struggle without the necessities. We support a number of causes that are important to us, but it's been a while since I've put my body where our money is. I've been thinking about finding a soup kitchen to volunteer at regularly or training to help out at our local literacy initiative, which largely helps refugees who have relocated to our area learn the English they need to help them rebuild their lives in our country. In light of the extras I'm glad to have, it's time to commit to one of these inclinations to help those who don't.   

I feel joyful listening to:

"Hark the Harald Angels Sing," by Pentatonix

The first verse of Penatonix's "Hark the Harald Angels Sing" brings tears to my eyes. The harmony! The bass! I'm going to let this one speak for itself: go listen. If you have a good pair of headphones you can plug into your device, do. Trust me, it will be worth it. 

Gratitude and Joy: The Bookternet and The Moon

Gratitude and Joy: Day 1

I am grateful for:

The Bookterweb
As an eighties kid, I kind of grew up along with the internet. It started out for me as a thing you got on to do a specific thing, like check your email or read a fannish bulletin board. It remained a novelty for quite a while, a thing I sometimes did (not so much used) just for the sake of doing it. Hey! I'm internetting! How cool is this? It's morphed by now, of course, into an ever-present entity, a thing I kind of can't really get through my day without and which I find myself doing brain hacks to lessen my reliance on. My relationship with it has soured, in other words. But there's one piece of it that invariably improves my life, and that's the bookterweb.

I've always been a bookish person, and for long years my desire to be a part of the book world was satisfied by being a college student and later a graduate student in English. Book people everywhere! But those days are behind me now, and I miss having bookish people wherever I turn. But the bookish parts of the internet do an excellent job standing in for a large circle of book-friendly acquaintances. (Sometimes it's better than a large circle of book-friendly acquaintances. The bookterweb will always be more diverse and cater to more niches than any group of humans gathered in one place can hope to be.) It's only been in the last four years or so that I've really sunk elbow-deep in bookish places online, and I've realized lately just how much all of those places add to my intellectual and emotional life. I'm not exaggerating in the slightest when I saw that a day does not go by where I am not brought happiness by bookish websites, forums, podcasts, or Youtube videos that I would not find anywhere else. They say the internet makes it easier for people to find their tribe. I've found mine, even if I might like to interact face-to-face more than the internet allows for, and seriously, how cool is that?

I feel joyful around:

The Moon
The moon is just a sliver shy of full tonight, and as I was walking the dog, trying to hurry her along a bit to get us inside the nice, lit-up house and out of the dark road, I caught sight of the moon through the bare branches of a tree in our yard. And it stopped me cold. It often does. I glance up and it catches me, hanging there in all its certainty and improbability. I'm not the first person to feel small gazing up at it or the first person to get kind of warm in the chest and break out in a grin at the sight of it either, I'm sure. It takes me a minute sometimes to identify that feeling I get, because it's so big, and tinged with something just a bit fearsome, but it is joy. Hanging right there in the sky.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

In a previous iteration of my blog, some six or so years ago, I did a post about how Christmas can get all snarly and tangled up, what with all the extra stuff we "have" to do; and the financial, familial, and other stresses that can come with the season; and the expectation to feel joy now, right now, regardless of where you are emotionally otherwise. It was ultimately one of those "concentrate on the bits that actually matter" posts (you know, like, count your blessings and all that stuff). And in yet another iteration of the blog (years and years ago now, back when Livejournal and the like were still really, really popular, a whole bunch of my friends and I all had blogs on one of those platforms and it was like one big verbose interwebby family for a brief, wonderful little while), I did an "advent calendar" series, where I recommended a holiday thing or tradition each day and talked about why they mattered to me. (Alas, that blog is no longer extant, so no linky for you.) 

I feel a pull toward that kind of post again this year. I had a half-formed notion to do a quick post every day in November about something I’m thankful for, but then it was halfway through the month and I hadn’t done it at all. And I like the idea of sharing the things that *do* make me feel nice and warm and fuzzy and blessed at this time of year. So, starting on Friday and going on through Christmas day, I’ll be doing another advent calendar series of sorts. I’m calling it “Gratitude and Joy,” where each day I’ll share one thing I’m thankful for and one thing that brings me joy. In keeping with the season, many, though likely not all, of these things will be related to Christmas in some way. 

I hope that these posts will bring a little light and happiness into this season for you, whether Christmas has meaning for you or not, whether you are tending toward joy yourself or not in these last weeks of 2017.

When You're Afraid to Reread

While I'm not a big rereader, I do have my favorites that I come back to over and over. I seem to be perpetually in the midst of another Harry Potter reread, I come back to half-remembered books from my childhood occasionally, and I do a ritualized reread of A Christmas Carol every year (one stanza each evening from 20th December through Christmas Eve). I reread more often as a child and a teenager, possibly because I had fewer books available to me than I do now but I suspect more because I had less expectation that I "ought" to be reading certain things and just happily re-immersed myself in the stories I liked best. 

So I'm no stranger to the reread, but I have a handful of books I've been avoiding rereading, books that I loved so much at a certain moment in time that I'm afraid to go back to them lest they turn out to be less than wonderful and the memories are tainted. These are the books I would come back to precisely because I wanted to feel the same thing I felt last time but fear that feeling was singular and the memory of it is better than finding out I can't step into that particular textual river ever again.

Here are four books I hesitate to reread:

Number the Stars, Lois Lowry

I first read this World War II middle grade chapter book in fifth grade, and while I suspect I read it repeatedly around that time of my life, I've never reread it as an adult. I loved the story and the friendship between the main characters. It was probably one of my first experiences of enjoying a book while also understanding that it dealt with serious, real topics that were outside of the realm of what was entertaining. Ironically, it is my fear that my fuller, more complete adult understanding of the Holocaust will keep me from enjoying the book at all that keeps me from coming back to it now.

Heir to the Empire, Timothy Zahn

I no longer remember whether this is the first Star Wars book I ever read (I don't think so?), but it was early in my deep dive into Star Wars fandom early in high school. Every summer I spent a week or so with my grandparents, and I remember so clearly lying on a patio chair in their breezeway just inhaling this book. While the book itself was good and certainly helped cement my growing love of Star Wars, it is more the memory of reading it that I do not wish to disturb with a reread. Maybe if I read it again it would be just as fun as the first time and I would just add another layer to my memory of the book. But what if I was bored? Better to let it alone.

Circle of Friends, Maeve Binchy

I loved Maeve Binchy as a teenager and read several of her books. Circle of Friends was always my favorite, though. I loved all the characters, the setting was fascinating to me, and I found the way the book didn’t end with everything all tied up neatly and predictably happily both disturbing and refreshingly realistic. I’ve tried reading some Binchy as an adult, and I always wander away from them, finding them too loosely focused and a little too twee. It’s entirely possible that her writing style changed since Circle of Friends and I would find that one just as grabbing as I did at fifteen, but I’d rather not risk finding out I don’t.

Jane Eyre, Charlotte Brontë

Of all the books here, this is the one I’m most likely to reread despite my reservations. I *love* Jane Eyre, and I have since the first time I read it, at sixteen, largely on the bus coming home from school. I was completely caught up in the gothickiness and the moors and the mysterious Mr. Rochester. I loved the way Jane stood up for her sense of what was right and that she didn’t take the safe, secure option. I rejoiced in its happy ending. I have reread Jane Eyre at least once since that first time but not recently. I know so much more about life now, and about the world, and I’m much more aware of the flaws of Jane’s time period. The way I would think about and react to so much of this novel will have changed so much. Bits that were just great story when I was younger will now have troubling things to say about mental health and race and misogyny and colonialism. And all that is good and as it should be. I have just not yet been willing to tramp through my love of this book with my adult, open eyes. That I get to waffle about “ruining” my initial innocent read of this book is, of course, a result of my own privilege, and I doubt that I’ll be able sit around without properly interrogating my memory of this book for much longer.

There you have it! Some of my favorite books I’m hesitant to reread. What are some of yours?

Fitting Podcasts into Your Life

Whenever I talk about podcasts to friends and family, I inevitably hear from someone that they’re interested in checking some out but just don’t know how they could possibly fit them into their lives. Occasionally I suspect that’s just polite speak for “Ug, *again* with this. We’re changing the subject.” But for those who really are interested but aren’t sure how to do yet. another. thing, I am here to help. Read on!

Make 'Em Portable

Many podcasts can be listened to on the web (and therefore through your computer), but if you’re having trouble levering them into your routine, your best bet is to make podcasts as portable as possible. Find you a podcatcher (the app that will let you download, listen, and subscribe to podcasts--Google “podcatcher recs” and find the one that is right for you and your device) for your phone. Great! Now you have access to your podcasts pretty much anywhere. How you get the soundwaves into your earballs is the next step. I honestly just turn the sound up decently high on my phone and put my phone in my back pocket, speaker up. The phone (and the podcast) go with me wherever I go as I’m going about household things, and I can hear perfectly well over everything except the vacuum cleaner. Headphones are also an option (maybe a wireless pair if you could join me in the Impossibly Tangled Up in My Headphone Wires Club), especially if you need to be considerate of other humans sharing your space. Should you just need bigger sound than your phone can produce, there are any number of small, portable, affordable Bluetooth speakers on the market that can help you with that. Bottom line is: make it easy for you to take your podcasts anywhere and hear them wherever you go. Then you can start slotting them into your routine whenever you have the chance.

Make Car Time Fly

If you can connect your phone to your car’s stereo system through Bluetooth, it’s easy to listen to podcasts in the car. Turn your commute into your favorite time of day by catching up with your favorite podcasts while you get all the places you need to be.

Listen Whenever Your Ears Are Free

Remember Mary Poppins’s spoonful of sugar and how it helped the medicine go down? Podcasts are the sugar that helps me get the chores done. Cooking? Dishes? Cleaning? Bill paying? Laundry folding? Organizing books? All a little more fun with the latest episode of my favorite podcast playing in the background. They help the time pass, and if you’re like me, the carrot of the podcast might actually help you get to some chores you’d otherwise let slide. Think outside the box here, too. Maybe listen in the shower. (If I turn the volume up all the way and put the phone down on the shelf just outside the shower, I can hear just fine unless my actual ears are completely under the actual stream of water. Probably there are more high-tech, water proofy ways to accomplish this too.) Listen when you take the dog out. (I listened to the entire backlog of a podcast by turning it on every time I took our new puppy out last summer.) Listen while you get ready for bed. (A nice, soothing podcast helps me wind down as I do the handful of small things that have to happen before lights out—checking the front door is locked, giving the cat fresh water, turning on the dishwasher, brushing my teeth, etc.)

Make Them an Excuse to Do a Handsy Thing

Do you have a knitting project languishing in your basket? Is your sewing machine gathering dust? Is there a half-assembled model ship in your basement? Podcasts are excellent “background” for any kind of project you do with your hands, especially if you’re like me and the constant changing of focus if you try to watch TV while doing handwork gives you a headache.  

Sweat!

If you’re exercising already, consider listening to a podcast while you do it. Cycle them in with your music or audiobooks. If you aren’t exercising already, use the podcasts as a bribe to get yourself to do it. Walk around the block until you’ve got through a whole episode. Voilà! Thirty minutes or an hour of exercise under your belt!

Listen with a Buddy or a Boo

Pick a podcast that you’d enjoy with a good friend or your significant other and make listening to it a date. Make an event out of it—have a living room picnic or snuggle on the couch or listen on the way to a favorite restaurant and then discuss the ep over your favorite meal together.

Give Yourself Permission to Do Nothing Else for a Few Minutes a Day

You work too hard. (Oh yes you do.) Take fifteen minutes for yourself. Shut the door. Sit down. Put your feet up. Do nothing else but listen. Ahhhh. And remember: you don’t have to listen to a whole podcast episode in one go. Your catcher will remember your place. If you only have fifteen minutes, just listen for fifteen minutes. Catch the rest of it next time.

All right, what are you waiting for? Go forth and listen to your heart’s content!

So You Want to Read a Romance Novel

Recently an article appeared in The New York Times Book Review rounding up romance novels being released this fall, and the romance community reacted with disappointment, disgust, and bewilderment to its tone and stance. (See some of the best reactions pieces from Ron Hogan; Sarah Wendell from Smart Bitches, Trashy Books; and Amanda Diehl at BookRiot.) The editorial director of the books section at NYTBR has responded, and readers are even more annoyed at that tone-deaf, condescending response (see the comments section of that article). I thought about writing about my own reaction to the piece, but it would largely be repeating what so many have already said so well. So, instead, I give you a handful of recommendations for romance reads, selected from among my favorites. While each of these is a particular favorite of mine, they also provide a small sample of the variety of scenarios and issues romance novels examine. Follow the title links to Amazon for plot descriptions and the author links for more about each author. 

For Real, Alexis Hall

Contemporary, m/m

Explores a BDSM relationship between two men with a significant age difference. Exquisite writing and a story that turns stereotypes about BDSM on their head.

Carry the Ocean, Heidi Cullinan

Contemporary, m/m

Centers around two young men navigating mental health issues as well as their budding relationship. Considered representation of depression, anxiety, and autism.

Trade Me, Courtney Milan

Contemporary m/f

Explores class and race issues and spotlights eating disorders in men.

Captive Prince Trilogy, C.S. Pacat

Fantasy, m/m

Lush world building and a slow-burn examination of hatred, loyalty, and love.

A Rogue by Any Other Name, Sarah Maclean

Regency, m/f

Fascinating interactions between hero and heroine within the confines of regency-era society coupled with feminist sensibilities and a lot of wit.

Of course, these recommendations are limited to my own experience with romance and lack the full breadth of what the genre has to offer. For even more variety to explore, check out these lists:

Diverse Historical Romances (Book Riot)

The Best Romance Novels (NPR)

Romance Reviews by Genre, Archetype, and Theme (Smart Bitches, Trashy Books)

Best Lesbian Romance Novels (Jezebel)

Three Authors Discuss Their Favorite Romance Authors Featuring People of Color (Bitchmedia)

Happy reading!

More (Less Bookish) Podcasts for Your Earballs

A few months back (it was five months back; it was in April; the older I get, the less I understand how time works), I recommended some of my favorite bookish podcasts. I've been meaning to do a follow-up post about other podcasts I love, podcasts that might not be so closely tied up in books in reading. *clutches pearls* And here it is! Other podcasts I put in my ears weekly, recommended for your very much listening pleasure:

Dear Hank and John, weekly, Tuesdays 

Hank and John are Hank Green and John Green, that is the VlogBrothers. Also, yes, that John Green, who wrote The Fault in Our Stars and has a new book coming out in a couple of weeks. They describe their show as "a comedy podcast about death where two brothers answer your questions, give you dubious advice, and bring you the week's news from Mars and AFC Wimbledon." Listeners write in with questions, sometimes silly, sometimes quite serious, and Hank and John give answers, often both silly and serious. It's funny, it's sometimes informative, it's often thoughtful, and it's just a great time. Also: news from Mars and AFC Wimbledon. Where else are you going to get that all in one package? 

Pantsuit Politics, varies, ~2x per week

Two women talk about the most pressing national political topics of recent days (and sometimes their local politics), often interviewing expert guests. They do a great job representing both the right and the left, and this is one of my go-to places to get thoughtful, careful discussion of all the news that's carving a hole in my gut. Their tag-line is "Sarah from the left. Beth from the right. No shouting. No insults. Plenty of nuance." No echo chamber here, folks.

From the Front Porch, weekly, Thursdays

Hosted by Annie Jones, the owner of independent bookstore The Bookshelf in Thomasville, Georgia, and Chris Jensen, a Bookshelf staffer, From the Front Porch provides "conversations on books, small business, and life in the South." Episode formats vary, sometimes comprising recaps of the books Annie and Chris have read in the past month, sometimes taking the form of a round-table discussion ("Love It or Loathe It") involving several staffers from the shop about a particular book, and sometimes featuring discussion and recommendations about books on a certain topic. Whatever the format, it's always a thoughtful, delightful half hour of book and bookstore talk. 

Harry Potter and the Sacred Text, weekly, Tuesdays

Hosts Vanessa Zoltan and Casper ter Kuile, both graduates of Harvard Divinity School, discuss the Harry Potter novels as sacred texts, looking at one chapter a week and reading that chapter through a chosen theme and through one of several spiritual practices drawn from various spiritual traditions. The podcast is a perfect blend of fun, serious, and spiritual, with most episodes calling on listeners to examine their lives and choices through the lens of the week's theme. They've gotten through HP3 at this point; I recommend starting at the beginning. I usually listen to this podcast as I'm getting ready for bed, and I find it a lovely way to close out the day.

The West Wing Weekly, weekly, Tuesdays

This is a recap and discussion show about The West Wing, hosted by Hrishikesh Hirway and Joshua Malina (who played Will Bailey on The West Wing from season four on). They go episode by episode, discussing each as viewers and fans, with some behind-the-scenes stuff from Malina, as well. They also frequently interview former cast and crew members. Fascinating stuff.

(Podcast links above take you to a web presence for each show, sometimes a website, sometimes a patreon, whevs, something associated directly with that podcast. Invariably, the best way to listen, however, is to subscribe through your podcatcher of choice. If you're looking for a new (or your first) podcatcher, your Google-fu should snag you some good recommendation lists for Iphone and Android. I use Podcast Addict. It does the thing.)

A Janeite with a million rereads under her bonnet must be in want of a retelling

We've been hovering around various bicentennial moments to do with Jane Austen for a couple of years now (four of her novels were published between 1811 and 1815; she died in July of 1817; the two others of the six of her major works were published posthumously in 1818), so I thought I'd share some of my favorite Austen-related media. *whispers* It's all going to be Pride and Prejudice related, you guys. P&P is my very particular jam. 

Recommendations

Pride and Prejudice (2005)

I gather this is somewhat of an unpopular opinion, but I like this version of P&P, starring Keira Knightley and Matthew MacFadyen, much more than the 1995 BBC version with Jennifer Ehle and Colin Firth (wet shirt scene not withstanding). The BBC version is certainly more accurate, in that it includes much more of the original story and its portrayal of the characters is a fairly direct interpretation of the book. But the Knightley/MacFadyen movie, to me, is a much more enjoyable experience. I also like the interpretations of the characters and the situation the movie provides, making everyone (especially the Bennets) just a bit earthier than the earlier version (and the book). I’m also quite fond of the way the 2005 movie depicts Mr. and Mrs. Bennet’s relationship—Mrs. Bennet is still a meddling, irksome, hard-to-live with irritant and Mr. Bennet is still too little interested and invested in the lives and realities of his daughters, but you can see that there is some affection between them. I cannot stand Mrs. Bennet in the BBC mini-series, like to the degree I kind of don’t ever want to watch it again. *shrug* Just me, perhaps, but I recommend the 2005 movie for a lovely couple of P&P hours.  

Lost in Austen

Lost in Austen is a four-part British television show that follows Amanda Price, a twenty-something who adores Pride and Prejudice and especially Mr. Darcy.  She’s in a relationship with a perfectly all right bloke—no Mr. Darcy, mind—and both her mother and the bloke think it’s about time they got married. Then one day she finds a portal in her bathroom into the attic at Longbourn and stumbles into the world of P&P just as the story is getting started. Elizabeth is missing, having gone through to modern-day London, and Amanda takes the place of a visitor among the Bennet family. And then things ensue. Sounds kooky, right? Oh, it is, in the best possible way. Every time I watch it, I think, “This is just silly.” And then I get completely caught up in the re-imagining of the story and Amanda’s commentary on it. For the most part, it’s just light and frothy and wonderful, but watch out for a short scene in the last episode where Darcy slips into the modern world briefly. If you ever needed a visual for “poleaxed,” you’ll get it. The actor playing Darcy (Elliot Cowan) does an amazing job in that moment, conveying approximately eleventy-billion emotions in Darcy all in one small moment. Also, Amanda’s utter desire to leave the modern world and all the advances she enjoys in it as a woman in favor of the early 19^th century is nicely balanced by the way Elizabeth absolutely *thrives* in the modern world. Watch it. I know you’ll love it.

An Assembly Such as This, Duty and Desire, and These Three Remain, Pamela Aiden

This trilogy of novels retells Pride and Prejudice from Mr. Darcy’s point of view. Aiden follows Darcy throughout the entire time covered in P&P, which means she has a good deal of story to invent from whole cloth, as there are great swathes of P&P during which Darcy is not only not on the page, but we don’t really know what he’s up to. Then there are all the delightful bits of the original where we *do* know what he was doing, but we don’t get to see it (his search for Lydia and the subsequent events, for instance). This is the first straight-up retelling of Pride and Prejudice (rather than something modernizing and/or inspired by it, such as Bridget Jones’s Diary) I ever encountered, and it’s still my favorite.

Pride and Prejudice audiobook, read by Rosamund Pike

Rosamund Pike’s performance of the unabridged Pride and Prejudice on audio is stunningly good. (She played Jane in the 2005 movie, too, if you’re trying to place why that name already seems connected to P&P.) She does an excellent job at the narration and breathes particular and exquisite life into each of the characters. I full-heartedly recommend it.

Illustrated Pride and Prejudice, illustrated by Shiei

Published by Seven Seas Entertainment, this edition of Pride and Prejudice contains manga-style black-and-white illustrations throughout (about two per chapter) and features full-color details of some of those illustrations at the front of the book as well as drafts at the back. It’s just delightfully fun and a neat mash-up of two different media styles.

On My Radar

Heartstone, Elle Katharine White

I haven’t gotten to this one yet, but this fantasy novel has been described to me as “Pride and Prejudice with dragons.” And, I mean, sold. From the back cover: “They say a Rider in possession of a good blade must be in want of a monster to slay—and Meybourne Manor has plenty of monsters.” This one is high on my TBR.

Pride and Prejudice graphic novel, illustrated by Robert Deas, text adapted by Ian Edington

I’ve been getting more and more into graphic novels and some comics over the last couple of years, so I’m excited to get to this graphic novel retelling of Pride and Prejudice. The art looks great, and I look forward to sitting down with the book and getting wrapped up in this interpretation of the world of Elizabeth Bennet. 

Not My Jam But Possibly Yours

Well Played, Katrina Ramos Atienza

This short novel is a modern retelling of Pride and Prejudice set at a university in the Phillipines and features a soccer-playing Lizzie-character and a math nerd Darcy- character. While the premise really appeals to me, I couldn’t get into the swing of the story. YMMV.

Before the Fall  (2016)

I watched this movie retelling of Pride and Prejudice literally within a few hours of finding out it existed. In this modern version set in Virginia, the Elizabeth (Ben) and Darcy (Lee) characters are both men. I love, love, love, this kind of swapping around of genders and/or roles and/or sexualities in retellings. Unfortunately, I thought the film was kind of uneven. So much of the touchstones of the story were changed that I found the whole thing very muddled. In addition to the change in setting and time period (givens, of course, in a modern retelling) and genderswap of Elizabeth and having the love story between two men, the particulars of Ben and Lee’s misunderstandings of one another and their situation bring in two thorny issues I don’t think the film adequately accounts for (domestic abuse and alcoholism), and it class-swaps Jane and Bingley (Bingley is poor; Jane is wealthy). It was just too much to be going on with. But. In my opinion, worth watching to see what they’ve done with the story and to support the film. (I’m still waiting for a movie where Elizabeth is a man (or Darcy is a woman) and not. one. other. thing. (except maybe the pronouns—or not) is changed about the story or the language. No explanations. Just genderswapped. Give it to meeee.)